May 20, 2013

You know how they say, the younger you are, the more life you live without fear? The 'older' I get, the more I realize this is true. Passing are the days when I get a great idea and chase after it whole-heatedly - because I believe I can achieve it. Gone are the times when something gets me all kinds of passionate and I keep the fire going for longer than a week.

The more failure and hurt you collect over the years, the more 'safely' you are inclined to live.
-avoiding possible embarrassments, failures, and wastes of time.

Life as a creative, is all about failure. You have to mess up the sketch thirty times to end up with something truly beautiful. There are fifty shots behind that perfectly cropped, lit and balanced one. always. And on failure: How can you really decide what was beneficial and what was not? Did you learn something? Discover something? Create something? Then was it really failure?

I used to dance, when I was a younger version of myself. My parents signed me up for ballet. Despite the tight buns, horrifyingly strict teacher, and peeing my tu-tu in class a few times: I adored it. So passionately. Dancing brought me so much joy, laughter and enjoyment. I was so absorbed in it, I would break into dance whenever I could. Because? I was a dancer + I loved it.

One of my earliest memories was the cruise my family took on the Big Red Boat back in '90 something. To this day, my family still laughs about the passion and zest in which I brought to the boat that year. You see, the cruise band was playing McFerrin - and at a young age I already had prime musical taste. So much so, that I recognized that Bobby McFerrin was irresistible. 

And it is that zest and passion, that I am trying to harness and rekindle. To see my art as my love rather than my job (and risk). I want to dance like that through the rest of my life - to be oblivious to those watching or judging. Because those who do something for their love of it - make something worth loving.

What's your big red boat? You know, the thing you are passionate about - but fear you aren't good enough to do. What are you doing to make your burning yearning a reality?

Day 20/31 of blogging EVERY DAY IN MAY.


  1. Oooh this is a good one!

    Mine is teaching. I do it, and it is my passion, but I never feel like I'm doing it my best. There is always something. I'm totally the tortured artist. :)

    And you're right- we get more scared the older we get.

    1. Its awful and crippling!
      It makes me crazy just thinking about it. I just need to dive in.

      Thanks for your comment means a lot.
      and teaching, oh man, teaching is one of those all or nothing jobs. good for you!

  2. That video is priceless!!! :') Such a spunky lil girl, haha!

    1. I was. Sometimes I sit here and wonder where all of that spunk went.
      Then I get into a mood, and realize I've just channeled it all into my sarcasm.

  3. Best video ever. Mine was singing. And as I get older I feel like it's pretty much everything. I want to do something and constantly tell myself it's too late for me, to get over it. Pitiful

    1. absolutely! Think about how different of a world we'd live in if everybody just did what they wanted to/ were good at. wowza. mind blown.


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