Being only fourteen months apart in age - growing up with my sister was a lot like having a twin. While we were younger, I remember the pain I felt in always having her around. She was on the swing right next to me - or a few rows back in dance class - or the left defender on my soccer team. She was quiet, kind and compassionate: so I immediately took advantage. Not to say, she didn't do the same of my bold and outspoken nature. After all, what are sisters for?
I teased her. We fought. I scratched her arm, she bit me back. Oh, let me tell you: the teeth of the kind and sweet are sharp! I called her names - awful, horrible names. And then miraculously, every once and a while we could agree on a TV show. When she had friends over, I tried to make them like me more. I complained about the smelly food that she brought in my car - she complained that she didn't have a car at all. Life together was tense.
It didn't hit me just how much I loved her until the past couple of years, while began attending the same college. It will forever be (to me) the place where we shared good friends, meals + stories. It's where our relationship began to overlap, in a good way. I began to be more compassionate, and quiet - and she began to step into her own confidence and shine. I like to think that we met each other halfway.
We began to bake together - and then made up for it with healthy smoothies + P90x. There were countless hours spent out by the pool tanning, and catching up. We took runs together - and breathlessly conversed all 3 miles. She shared her closet, I shared my shoes + accessories. We rode to school jammin' out to the radio at seven in the morning. She was my Maid of Honor in my wedding, a role that wouldn't have been "filled" by anyone else. We shared joy, laughter, tears, and excitement - but most of all, love.
Now that I'm seemingly halfway across the world, engrossed in my new life with Husband, I feel the pain of not always having her around.
I hope that you receive all of your heart's desires today, Jess. Husband and I miss you + love you. You'll be in our thoughts all day - and in our party tonight. Happy 21st birthday baby sister!